Esmeralda waves goodbye to her friends as she slides into the driver's seat and revs the motor. It's the first time she's had her parents' car and she knows her friends are enviously watching her from the restaurant.
OK. Seat belt on. Stereo on. Sunglasses on. Ready. DRIVE... AARGH!!... It should have been REVERSE! CRASH! Luckily, a pole is in the way or Esmeralda and car might have ended up back in the restaurant with her astonished friends.
After nearly dying of embarrassment, Esmeralda gets on with her life, pays her parents for the damaged taillight, and soon becomes a better driver. But her mistake keeps coming into her thoughts. And to make matters worse, whenever she thinks about it, the negative images seem to block out everything else.
I'm a klutz. I'm ugly. I'm fat. I'm stupid. Something awful will happen if I try that!
Are these the messages you give yourself? Every time you give yourself negative messages, you are building mental blocks that stop you from doing the things you want to do and being the person you want to be. Think of all the would-be scientists, Olympic athletes and rock stars out there who talked themselves out of chasing their dreams. Being what you want to be means choosing the messages you want to give yourself. Choose to shatter those mental blocks.
Bud's “too scared to try” block
Some people think Bud is a nerd. Mostly, he's a reader. Lately, his reading has made him quite interested in sports. More than anything, he wants to play football.
Bud has never played football before. He's not even sure he knows all the rules. And he's a lot smaller than some of these other guys who have been jocks since forever. Before the team tryouts, he comes up with all kinds of reasons to quit before even starting.
What became of this troubled twosome?
Bud accepted the position of football trainer. Esmeralda now laughs when she tells the story of her first glass-shattering experience.
Bud and Esmeralda may have found life easier if they had known ways to get past their own negative messages. Next time you're faced with a battle of the blocks, why not plan on a little shattering?
Shatter strategy 1
You want to do something but it's just too scary. Don't give up. Instead, think of all the most unbelievably awful things that could happen if you were to go ahead. (You're thinking of them anyway, so you might as well make an exercise out of it, right?)
- Bud might have thought these kinds of things about his football tryout:
- The team will turn on me and hang me upside down from the goalpost.
- When I show up, the whole team will point and laugh.
- My entire uniform will be too big for me.
- I'll faint with fear and get trampled.
Enough already! Now bring yourself back to reality, have a laugh and be relieved that nothing like that will happen. At worst, Bud won't make the team. That's nothing next to the nightmare he's imagining. He might as well go for it. You might as well too.
Shatter strategy 2
Think of something you’ve been wanting to do. Take up a new sport? Try out for a part in a school play? Ask someone for a date? Write your own private passion at the top of a sheet of paper. Now think of the blocks. Think of all the reasons stopping you and write them down.
Bud's page might have looked like this:
- I want to try out for the football team.
- But I'm too old to start now.
- But I don't know the rules.
- But the guys are going to kill me.
- But I'll break both legs the first time out.
- But I'll never be any good.
- But I'm too small.
- But I'll never make the team.
- But they're all going to laugh.
The next step is to review your list and cross out the “buts” that are not real. (If arguing with yourself seems ridiculous, you may want to pull in a friend for this part.) Get rid of the imagined stuff so you can use your energy to tackle the real issues, like what is the best way to learn the rules of football.
Shatter strategy 3
This one is great when something is bugging you and just won't quit. Like after Esmeralda's car accident.
Let's say you have dealt with your problem in the best way possible, but you keep worrying about it anyway. Next time it happens, imagine that this problem takes up space in your mind. Then go into your mind, remove the thought, and replace it with the most terrific image you can conjure up. Use the same image each time so it starts to become automatic, and soon you will control those nagging thoughts instead of them controlling you.
Be a person who chooses to design yourself. When mental blocks get in the way, shatter them! Be who you want to be. It's up to you.
