Defense mechanisms are the mind tricks we play on ourselves. They protect us from information that may be threatening or uncomfortable to us. For example, people in your family may be telling you things about yourself that don’t fit with how you see yourself. You may feel a need to defend yourself. Defenses temporarily help us feel OK about our behaviour and ourselves. But when they’re overused, defense mechanisms can work against us.
Drinking, using other drugs or gambling to deal with problems gives defense mechanisms the upper hand. And when we rely too much on our defenses, they can become our reality. We can become blind to the unpleasant consequences of our behaviour, which makes it harder for us to see how our problems have come about.
Here are some common defense mechanisms:
- Denial: not telling the truth or denying there is a problem.
- Repression: Sometimes when a problem seems too big or too painful to think about, the brain will push the memory of that problem deep down so you forget it ever happened.
- Minimizing: trying to make a serious problem seem small or not important.
- Blaming others: blaming other people, situations or relationships for your problems. This is not taking responsibility for your choices or behaviour.
- Rationalizing: making excuses for your behaviour and thinking up explanations for why you do what you do.
- Avoiding: changing the subject, ignoring information, not talking, or just leaving so you don’t have to be reminded of the problem.
- Attacking: getting angry or aggressive to make people back off and stop trying to get you to talk about the problem.
- Using humour: making a joke out of the problem so you don’t have to talk seriously about it.
Knowing your defense mechanisms can help you get past them, so you can listen to what people who care about you are saying. When you’re willing to put your defense mechanisms in their place, you can get back in the driver’s seat. Then you can start to build the life you want for yourself.
